


more (than my words could ever say)

by givebackmylifecas



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt TK, M/M, Season/Series 02, Soft Boys, Very comforting Carlos, i just have feelings about owen and gwyn's parenting okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29639844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givebackmylifecas/pseuds/givebackmylifecas
Summary: “I just can’t help but think… What if the reason they’re so determined to have this baby – despite all the health risks and their age,” TK trails off, but Carlos doesn’t speak, waiting for him to finish speaking, to articulate his worst fears into the space between Carlos’ shoulder and neck. “What if it’s so they can get it right this time?”TK finally finds out about his parents having another baby and has some feelings about it. Carlos is there to help.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 34
Kudos: 319





	more (than my words could ever say)

**Author's Note:**

> TWs just for references to canon past drug use and overdosing
> 
> fic title from the clare dunn song 'more'

TK is still pissed off when he gets to Carlos’ house. He probably shouldn’t let it get to him this much, but the fact that his dad had told so many people something this important before he told TK – again – is just… shit.

He sighs, turning off the engine of his truck and letting himself into the house. Carlos is stretched out on the couch, clearly passed out, though he jerks awake when TK doesn’t manage to shut the door as quietly as he means to.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he apologises and Carlos shakes his head.

“No, it’s fine. I wasn’t sleeping, I was watching TV.”

TK frowns, squinting at the TV. “Sure, because you’re such a big fan of the Great British Bake Off.”

Carlos grins sheepishly. “Okay, maybe I was asleep. How was your day? Do you want something to eat?”

TK shakes his head, kicking off his shoes and pulling his hood up over his head as he joins Carlos on the couch. His boyfriend, the wonderfully observant man that he is, immediately mutes the TV and pulls TK into his arms.

“TK, what’s wrong?”

“It’s stupid,” TK mumbles, pressing his face into Carlos’ shoulder.

Carlos strokes his head through the thick fabric of his hoodie. “I doubt it, but why don’t you let me decide that?”

TK sighs and pulls back enough that he can look at Carlos, whose lips twitch into a smile when TK meets his eyes.

“Come on, cariño,” Carlos coaxes. “Tell me, it can’t be that bad.”

TK nods and takes a breath before speaking. “My mom’s pregnant.”

“She’s what?” Carlos asks, eyebrows almost at his hairline.

“Yeah, I know,” TK huffs. “She’s pregnant.”

Carlos, eyes still wide, nods. “Right and… it’s your dad’s?”

TK can’t help but snigger a little at the question. “Yeah. No half-siblings for me…”

“Wow, that’s. Wow. It’s a lot. How are you feeling about it?” Carlos asks and TK shrugs. “Hey, tiger, that’s not an answer.”

“You know, you sound a lot like my therapist,” TK mumbles and Carlos snorts.

“I sincerely hope she doesn’t call you tiger.”

TK rolls his eyes. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Carlos cradles the back of TK’s head, tilting it back so he has no choice but to meet his eyes. “Then why don’t you answer the question? You’re upset and I want to know why so I can make it better.”

TK stares at him, a little embarrassed when he sniffs and feels tears burning in his eyes. “What if you can’t?”

“Then I’ll be here to help you through it,” Carlos replies in that confidently competent way he has which TK was into from the moment they met. “Okay?”

“Okay,” TK nods. “Remember how, before my dad told me he had cancer, he’d already told Judd?”

Carlos looks like he knows where this is going, but he nods and gestures for TK to continue.

“And this time, not only did Judd know before me but so did Grace and Tommy – and Paul somehow knew too – and I’m just… I guess I’m tired of being so low in his priorities that I’m the last to know this life-altering news.”

“Oh Ty, you’re not low in his priorities,” Carlos immediately says reassuringly but TK shakes his head.

“Even my mom didn’t think to tell me,” he says. “Since the two of them have been doing… whatever it is they’re doing, they’ve been so wrapped up in each other that I feel like an afterthought. And that’s fine, you know, I’m an adult now and I have you and we practically live together and I don’t expect to always come first but – ”

“But with something like this you should have been the first one they told,” Carlos says firmly and the anxiety that knotted itself in TK's chest from the moment his dad told him loosens somewhat.

“I know I’ve put them through a lot, but I still thought they trusted me,” TK says, wiping at his eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie.

Carlos nods. “I don’t know why they waited so long to tell you, or why they told other people first, but I’m sure it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.”

Carlos sounds so sure, so convinced of the fact that it couldn’t possibly be TK’s fault that he almost believes him. He crawls further into Carlos’ arms, letting his boyfriend wrap himself around him, grounding him with his presence. A couple of kisses are pressed to the top of his still covered head and he leaves a few of his own on Carlos’ exposed neck.

Carlos rubs a firm hand up and down TK’s back. “Feeling better?”

“I guess,” TK mumbles.

“Not exactly convincing,” Carlos says and TK sighs.

“I just can’t help but think… What if the reason they’re so determined to have this baby – despite all the health risks and their age,” he trails off, but Carlos doesn’t speak, waiting for him to finish speaking, to articulate his worst fears into the space between Carlos’ shoulder and neck. “What if it’s so they can get it right this time?”

Carlos tenses beneath him, but TK chokes out the rest, because if he doesn’t say it now then he might never. “This could be the child they've always wanted. The one who isn’t a fuckup, who won’t make them pay for rehab, who they won’t find on the floor because they’ve OD’d. Who isn’t a disappointment.”

His words hang in the quiet between them and TK isn’t sure when he started crying this hard, but suddenly he’s sobbing loudly enough for it to wrack his whole body. Carlos just holds him through it, ignoring the way TK is getting tears and probably snot on his neck and t-shirt. He just keeps rubbing TK’s back and kissing the top of his head until he feels like he has no tears left to cry.

“TK, cariño,” Carlos says quietly. “Will you look at me?”

TK kind of really doesn’t want to, because he’s sure his face has gone puffy and blotchy and honestly, this is just another reason he doesn’t let anyone see him cry, but it’s Carlos. Patient, caring, perfect Carlos, whom he loves enough for it to scare him just a little. So he wipes his nose on his sleeve and looks up at his boyfriend.

“I’m not saying that your fears aren’t valid or that they’re stupid,” Carlos says, his dark eyes soft and sincere. “But your parents love you, even when it doesn’t seem like it. And there is nothing about you, Tyler Kennedy Strand, for them not to love, or that they could regret – let alone want to avoid or ‘get right’ with a different child. People are weird sometimes, they’re stupid or they’re selfish, they make mistakes. And honestly? With your parents, it’s probably just that they’re so wrapped up in their own stuff they don’t think to look around and worry about how they’re affecting anyone else. But that doesn’t mean they don’t love you, or that you’re some sort of failure because you're not. And to me, you’re pretty close to perfect.”

And TK… he doesn’t know what to say. He’s floored by how easily Carlos understood him and knew exactly what to say without dismissing his pain. How he took everything TK was afraid of and made it seem manageable, like something he can handle.

“I love you,” he says, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he can stop them and Carlos looks shocked for a moment before his face splits into a wide smile.

“You do?” he asks and god, what the hell has TK been doing if Carlos has to double-check whether he loves him.

He nods. “I do. So much, Carlos. You think I’d offer to let just anyone tell their parents’ I’m their personal shopper?”

Carlos grins, shaking his head. “You’re ridiculous, but I love you too.”

“I love you,” TK says again, just to see Carlos’ face when he does.

It feels so different from when he used to tell Alex he loved him. He hadn’t hesitated then, but what he felt for Alex doesn’t even come close to what he feels for Carlos. His feelings for Carlos shouldn't even be expressed with the same words he used for Alex, because 'I love you’ just doesn’t seem like enough.

Carlos leans in and kisses him then, hands gentle on TK’s face and waist as they always are unless TK asks for them not to be. TK leans into the kiss, arms wrapping around Carlos’ neck until there’s no way they could get any closer.

When they part for air, Carlos presses kisses to TK’s swollen eyelids and still damp cheeks, thumb caressing the side of his face like he’s something precious.

“It’ll be alright, TK,” he promises. “Whatever happens with your mom and dad and the baby, I’ll be here for you. You’ll get through it.”

TK nods, pressing another kiss to Carlos’ gorgeous mouth. “Thank you,” he mumbles, their lips barely an inch apart.

“Oh, always, mozão,” Carlos promises and TK frowns. “What?”

“What does that mean?” TK asks. “You’ve never called me that before.”

Carlos quirks his eyebrows. “Pretty sure, I have. Maybe you just haven’t been paying attention,” he says cockily, but there’s a faint blush on his face.

TK grins, his troubles with his parents momentarily forgotten. “Come on babe, you can tell me. Even if it’s embarrassing.”

“It’s not embarrassing,” Carlos says petulantly. “It’s just something my avó, my grandmother, used to say. It’s a Brazilian term of endearment.”

“I’m going to be honest, that’s pretty cute,” TK says, eyes crinkling as he smiles. “And I never knew your grandmother was Brazilian.”

Carlos shrugs. “I mean, I mostly see myself as Mexican, it’s not like I really speak Portuguese. But there’s a couple of things I remember from her.”

“Well, you’ll have to teach me too. That way you won’t forget,” TK insists and Carlos smiles again, deepening the little ridge above his nose.

“Sure thing, mozão,” he says, dragging TK into another kiss.

They reshuffle themselves on the sofa so that they’re both lying, facing the TV, with Carlos positioned between the back of the couch and TK, who curls back into his chest. Carlos hooks his chin over TK’s shoulder and wraps his arm tightly around his waist while TK picks something for them to watch.

“Hey,” Carlos says softly as they watch the opening credits of ‘Below Deck’. “Everything will be okay, you know that, right?”

TK smiles, grabbing Carlos’ hand so he can kiss his knuckles. “I know, thanks to you.”

He can practically feel Carlos smiling against his neck. “Good. And if it’s not, I’ll just arrest your mom and dad for upsetting you.”

“I don’t think there’s a DA in Texas that could get those charges to stick, baby,” TK says. “But the fact that you’d try means a lot.”

“There’s not a lot I wouldn’t do for you,” Carlos mumbles and TK hides his smile, settling back to watch Carlos’ latest terrible reality TV obsession.

“I know, Carlos. Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was my first tarlos fic so I hope I did them justice, I really love those two
> 
> if you liked it (or you know, tolerated this) i'd love kudos/comments or come say hi on tumblr ([@hefellfordean](https://hefellfordean.tumblr.com)) or twitter ([@angstypalermo](https://twitter.com/angstypalermo))


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